How to find a therapist?!?
Written By Dan Schmitt
Finding the right therapist for your needs can feel like a daunting task. To most clients it can seem a bit like dating—looking over profiles, reading what each person says they can help you with, and all those letters after a person’s name that mean what exactly?
Actually, finding a the right therapist is a bit like dating. Research has shown that the biggest factor of change outside of a client’s own resources (40%) is the therapeutic alliance—basically how you (the client) feels that you connect with your therapist and feel seen and heard by them. This accounts for 30% in regards to factors of change—double that of the modality or “style” of therapy that your therapist practices (which accounts for 15%).
As a client, you might have heard of a particular style of therapy and might be looking for a therapist who practices in that modality. Perhaps you are looking for a CBT therapist or an Imago therapist etc. While for some clients this is a deal breaker, it only factors in roughly 15% to the change process according to the research. That being said, theoretical orientation can give a sense of how a therapist views clients and views the process of therapy.
Finding the right therapist can be just as much about finding the right personality. Some clients like a therapist who is very engaged and conversational, other clients are looking for someone who will mostly just sit back and listen. Certain therapists might be more directive; clients appreciate walking out of a session with a concrete ‘to-do’ list of activities. Other therapists might pose introspective questions that need time to be considered and contemplated to reveal personal truths.
Being on the other side of the couch as a therapist the things I wish I had known when finding a good therapist would be to go on several dates. What I mean, is to interview a handful of therapists who you connect or identify with in some way. This information could be from their Psychology Today profile, their website, or from what friends say about them who have seen them as clients. Call them and see if they offer a free consultation or initial meeting to gauge how you connect with them. This might be a little awkward at first but you will probably have a ‘gut feeling’ of whether or not this is someone you can really open up to. This initial consult also provides the therapist a sense of whether or not they feel they are the right therapist for your presenting concern. You might feel a connection with a certain therapist but if your presenting issue is not a familiar area of focus for them it might be less of an ideal fit (but not always).
So what questions do you ask a therapist? Aside from the pragmatics of availability and cost, good questions to ask are :
Do you work with clients that have your presenting issue?
Share a bit about what you are needing help with (anxiety, life transitions, relationship issues etc) and ask how they as a therapist can help?
How would you describe yourself as a therapist working with clients?
What are your main theoretical models? Can you explain how this works with clients?
What is a typical session like?
How often do you like to see your clients?
More than the answers themselves, as a client I would be gauging if this is a person I feel I am connecting with and could really open up to. Do I feel like they are warm and open? Do I feel they are trying to understand me and my situation? You might not have exact clarity but you should have a sense of the person and if you felt a connection. Much like dating, you can’t know everything about the person you are meeting for the first time but you typically walk away knowing if you would want to go on a second date with them or not!
So what about all those letters—LMFT, LPC, CADC, LCSW, PsyD etc? These abbreviations stand for the kind of training and education that your therapist has had. This can also give some insight into the type of therapist or lens that they see clients through. If you have a very unique presenting issue, it is obviously helpful to seek out the expertise of a particular practitioner—perhaps going to a clinical psychologist for an in-depth assessment for something like adult ADD.
Therapy is an incredibly intimate and vulnerable process and finding the right person to navigate this territory with can make a big difference for clients in how comfortable they are opening up, being vulnerable, and at times being willing to be challenged a bit by their therapist.